Confused - Parts presenting in different forms?

Submitted by cassiem on Fri, 06/18/2010 - 02:45.

Hello,

I am working through the Self Led Therapy book and am still new to this - I am currently doing the exercises in chapters 6 and 7.

In trying to keep track of the parts I have met so far, I am not sure whether it is okay to assume that two parts that presented themselves at different times and in different forms are actually the same part.

For example, I met a part called Muscle Woman, who holds me very tense and doesn't let me relax with anyone or form relationships. Another day I met someone called Mrs-Tough-As-Old-Boots, who helps me by banishing feelings of overwhelm or not-coping. I think that these two parts might be the same part, but I'm not sure.

Is it okay to treat them as one part and trust that they will tell me if this is not the case, or is that dangerous. Should I always assume that even similar parts are separate unless they tell me otherwise?

Hope someone can shed light on this...

Thanks,

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Re: Confused - Parts presenting in different forms?

Submitted by MSANDFORT on Sun, 08/22/2010 - 01:29.

Hi Cassiem,

Way to go on working through the exercises!

Here are some random thoughts in response to your question:

Apply real-life people skills to internal situations:
When I'm in doubt, I try to apply real-life (external) circumstances to the situation. If I met a person, and then later on I met another person who looked like that person-- but who gave me a different name -- would I assume they were the same person? They might be! But they might not be. So I'd just ask.

If in doubt, lean into the relationship:
You have a relationship with Muscle Woman, and Mrs-Tough-As-Old-Boots-- they've both been open enough with you to tell you about themselves, so you can leverage that relationship to ask.

I guess my response is... ask! In general, I find that the more I ask, the less I deal with misunderstandings. Over time you can find out from your system how it organizes itself. Sometimes I've definitely had the experience that parts will be 'fuzzy' in the sense that one will kinda be another one... but other times it is very important to the individual parts that they are not at all considered the same part.

Hope that helps!

Melissa Sandfort, IFSCP
www.ifslife.com

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